Cookies So Easy Even *I* Can Make Them??

Dec 24, 2022 · 3 min read · Christmas Cookies  ·
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It's the most terrifying time of year. That time when people ask you to join a cookie swap. I have an oven but I'm not sure what it's for.

Introduction

So in celebration of the holiday, I thought I would do something crazy and make cookies to share at a cookie swap. Luckily for me, my family has a long history of doing exactly this with what are called either "Forget Me" or "Forget Me Not" cookies. This is actually something of a family tradition- either my grandmother or my mother would make an enormous batch of them using mint-chocolate chips going back as far as I can remember.

They are (allegedly) dead simple to make- only 4-ish ingredients, and leave them to set overnight.

That was the theory, anyway. So.. I tried it. What follows is a combination of recipe/personal journal of my experience wrestling this particular dragon.

(I am happy to say that I emerged victorious after a frankly classified ratio of blood, sweat, and tears. By all accounts, everyone who's eaten one of the cookies is still healthy and hale.)

Anyway, without further ado... the recipe itself.

The Recipe Itself

**Forget Me Not Cookie Recipe / Adventure**

INGREDIENTS

2 lg. Egg Whites 25/32 cup Sugar (or as we like to call it... 3/4s... ish) 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla 1 cup-ish Chips (dealers choice - mint choc is a delight but they are increasingly hard to find.) Dash of salt (if you remember)

INSTRUCTIONS

NOTE: Best done with stand mixer

1. Preheat oven to 350
    Double check temp with external thermometer in case oven is a liar

2. Prep cookie trays with aluminum foil
    Annoyingly you will need more than 1- but not much more than 1
   Greasing the foil is not necessary but you might paranoically do it anyway

3. Separate egg whites into mixing bowl
    Accidentally spill yolk into bowl
   Curse, start again

4. Mix aggressively until foamy
    Contemplate the meaning of 'foamy,' spill contents onto counter
   Curse, start again

5. Add in dash of salt
    Sweat in fear that there's no scientific definition of 'dash' and worry that you overdid it
   Slowly add in sugar while continuing to mix
   Continue to mix on high until material starts to stiffen
   Ponder why it's taking so long
   Wonder how it's possible to screw up a recipe with 4 ingredients
   Remember that there are actually 5
   Panic

6. Turn off mixer, fold in vanilla and chips
   This part's actually kinda fun so take your time
   Yeah, you can probably add more chips why not

7. Spoon mixed batter(?) onto aluminum foil
    The smaller the better
   Don't overdo it
   Well great. You overdid it. Now some of them will have sharp edges

8. Place cookie sheet(s) into oven and turn off after ~15 seconds, leave in oven overnight
    Don't open oven door for any reason.
   They're fine, Chris. THEY'RE. FINE.

Happy Holidays, everyone!